Dear the person who is bidding against me on ebay

The Queens of the Stone Age tix are mine, okay? Back away from the auction because you ain't gonna win this one.

And for heaven's sake, stop upping the ante by $1/bid. It's immensely irritating and makes me want to slap you down by bidding something outrageous.

For the amount I am going to spend (indeed, the amount they were at Ticketmaster) I expect pyro, dancing bears and Josh to invite me backstage for a line after the show.

Thank you.