Is there anything beer can't fix?
I'm stuck at home today. With the flu from hell. I feel like I've been hit by a train. So I figure now is a good a time as any to get the house phone fixed. The phone hasnt worked properly since anonymous the housemate flooded half the house (ducking for cover).
Now the Optus tech is really friendly on the mobile; "Oh, you sound really sick" he says, "I've just had the flu, yeah, two weeks I had to take off, went into my lungs, like pneumonia it was, whole family had it, doesnt seem to matter how young or fit you are these days, it just really knocks you about, you'll proboably end up in hospital like aunty kath did".
Thanks mate.
LUCKILY it turns out that it isnt an internal fault, so I don't have to pay for it. "What exactly is the problem?" I ask languishing on my death bed three hours later when they call me back. Turns out it's just a little bit of water damage .... must have been something to do with the wild weather we've been having lately....
So the phone is under control, but my flu is getting worse by the minute. I need drugs, I need to get out of the house, I need food and tissues, and orange juice and supplies. So I jump in the trusty old 'rolla and off to the chemist. Simple mission. BUT NO, Tchick has a head full of cotton wool and obviously no depth perception or in fact any concept whatsoever of three dimensional space.
Et volia, after 15 years of a spotless driving record, I've finally done it.
That's right kids, I'VE PRANGED THE CAR.
Mangled the front left panel. Squashed in so badly it's preventing the tyre from moving. So with a bit of determination, a club lock and large rock, I can bend the panel away from the wheel enough for me to get the car down to the smash repairs place round the corner where I'm met by a short round jolly man with a pink nose, blue overalls and cheeky eyes. A cursory glance over the car and "new bumper bar, forward left panel, lights set, ra ra ra, you're looking at around a thousand dollars"
Often silence is the best defence in these situations, and after only 20 seconds of watching me blink incredulously he's offered me an alternative. "of course if you run down and grab us a slab I could knock some shape into it for you."
Now you're talking.
I wish I had a digital camera to take a photo of the results,because it's fucking hilarious - Kissa, I might ask if I can borrow yours..
Now the Optus tech is really friendly on the mobile; "Oh, you sound really sick" he says, "I've just had the flu, yeah, two weeks I had to take off, went into my lungs, like pneumonia it was, whole family had it, doesnt seem to matter how young or fit you are these days, it just really knocks you about, you'll proboably end up in hospital like aunty kath did".
Thanks mate.
LUCKILY it turns out that it isnt an internal fault, so I don't have to pay for it. "What exactly is the problem?" I ask languishing on my death bed three hours later when they call me back. Turns out it's just a little bit of water damage .... must have been something to do with the wild weather we've been having lately....
So the phone is under control, but my flu is getting worse by the minute. I need drugs, I need to get out of the house, I need food and tissues, and orange juice and supplies. So I jump in the trusty old 'rolla and off to the chemist. Simple mission. BUT NO, Tchick has a head full of cotton wool and obviously no depth perception or in fact any concept whatsoever of three dimensional space.
Et volia, after 15 years of a spotless driving record, I've finally done it.
That's right kids, I'VE PRANGED THE CAR.
Mangled the front left panel. Squashed in so badly it's preventing the tyre from moving. So with a bit of determination, a club lock and large rock, I can bend the panel away from the wheel enough for me to get the car down to the smash repairs place round the corner where I'm met by a short round jolly man with a pink nose, blue overalls and cheeky eyes. A cursory glance over the car and "new bumper bar, forward left panel, lights set, ra ra ra, you're looking at around a thousand dollars"
Often silence is the best defence in these situations, and after only 20 seconds of watching me blink incredulously he's offered me an alternative. "of course if you run down and grab us a slab I could knock some shape into it for you."
Now you're talking.
I wish I had a digital camera to take a photo of the results,because it's fucking hilarious - Kissa, I might ask if I can borrow yours..
posted by tchick at 4:43 pm
4 Comments:
Oh, I confess freely to my contribution to the flooding in that I failed to check whether or not tchick had made a careless mistake. 15 all.
Beer fixes most things.
When my Grandparents moved from Cyprus in the early 70's, my Grandfather used beer to get his license. He turned up for his test, showed the guy his Army ID and gave him a slab of beer (VB). Ten minutes later he walked out with a Victorian drivers license.
BTW We're still waiting for the photos!
That's fucking hilarious about your grandfather nick! and can I borrow your digital camera?
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