I admit it. I've been long fascinated by the idea of colonic irrigations. The idea of being able to wash out your insides and start again fresh, unmarred by the toy cars you swallowed as a child, or the chewing gum that accidentally went the wrong way and never emerged is tempting, albeit a little scary.
And now, thanks be to god, there is a miracle product on the market,
Dr Natura's COLONIX Internal Cleasing Program, where testimonials to its success include quotes as notable as "We are having awesome adventures in the bathroom" and, "the death that existed inside of me".
There are three steps to this fabulous product (as taken from the site) -
1) the
Colonix Intestinal Cleanser fibre supplement which cleanses the colon of accumulated toxic build-up and prevents the formation of new build-up through the use of herbal dietary fibre,
2)
Paranil Anti-Parasite Support which helps to eliminate harmful parasites, including intestinal worms and their eggs from the colon and other parts of the body, and
3)
Kleri Tea for Regularity and Detoxification which helps to restore normal bowel function and promotes regularity.
Judging by the thousands of testimonials on the site, there are a lot of people out there who are no longer constipated, bloated or riddled with worms thanks, to Dr Natura (who I'm sure is a qualified MD).
But wait....there's more. If you weren't satisfied by the photos of the smiley, bright people who festoon this site, there is a
Picture Gallery that will no doubt prove beyond a reasonable doubt that this products not just works, it really really works.
Yes that's right folks, someone has taken photos of their poos, and has decided to show them to the world. Please be warned that what you are about to see may cause some distress and morbid fascination. Don't say that I didn't warn you....but do click on the link and see the amazing death that existed inside of them. I wanted to post the image of the bog on the blog, but decided that opening this blog may never be the same again.
As you can see, this was the death that existed inside of him and were this to be inside me, I'm pretty sure that I would want it out quick-smart as well. What amazes me is that he wrote a journal that describes his journey through detox, a fascinating study in itself. And from the artistic way he draped his faeces across the back of the toilet in order to capture it in the best possible light, he was a budding Picasso. I may have been interested in colonics before...but now I'm not so sure.
Consider the story of Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt who fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berried, figs and prunes. The plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly. Standing next to his elephant, Mr. Riesfeldt suffocated under 200 pounds of elephant manure. Investigators say Riesfeldt, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an enema when the beast unloaded on him.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted police detective Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents.
Now that is some poo.
